I have been feeling extremely depressed and anxious ever since I started college. I can’t socialize or get my homework done most of the time because I feel exhausted and trapped. Like right now I have this enormous paper to write and every time I even think about it I get so paranoid it led to 2 panic attacks already.
The thing is I don’t have any other options than college. I’m studying to be an electrical engineer because thats what my dad does and thats the only thing I see myself doing. But at the same time I don’t really feel like I am up to whatever it takes to finish my 3 year program. The assignments seem to get progressively harder and I can barely find energy to do them. Our professors are not as helpful either, they all kind of just push the you’ll figure it out if you got what it takes idea on us.
I always knew what I am going to study at that school and work with my dad when I graduate. But that is also the idea that is driving me insane right now. Has anyone experienced something similar to this? Should I just power through and stick to my goals?
Seems to me like you’re pressured by the fact that your life is all figured out. The truth is you never fully know who you are this early on. People go through several college degrees and jobs before they know what they want to do. And it’s a nice idea to follow in your dad’s footsteps but it doesn’t always mean that it will be the right career for you. So the first thing you should do is to take all that pressure of yourself and believe in the idea that nothing is decided. You can even consider taking a semester off to get back on track and see if you even want to continue.
If you go over to r/collegerant you’ll quickly realize that you’re definitely not alone.
You should definitely meet up with a mental health specialist. Panic attacks aren’t as harmful as they feel, but it’s still not ok to get them over homework. You’ve got some stuff to figure out before you can move on to anything.